While that phrase has a darker meaning to it in "Streetcar . . ." - it has come to mean something strong and better in popular usage.
And that's how I mean it in this post. I have indeed been impressed by the kindness of strangers. And so not impressed by people I've known for 20+ years. Onward with the good, first.
As mentioned earlier, my best friend's mother passed away. They're having a memorial service next weekend, so I'll be flying out there. I have to be there - I must say goodbye with my best friend and her family. She and I need each other. There's a bond of friendship that goes beyond any words, any pain, any thing tangible. And that's the kind of friendship we have. And they just gave me the honor of reading Lauretta's obit. at the service. As my friend wryly put it - they needed "an actor and someone with breath control."
Anyway - because I'm short of funds, I've been searching for airfares and hotels to make it easy on my wallet and still allow me to be out there in MD. Was still trying to make arrangements with folks driving me, etc. That's another paragraph I'll address in a moment. However, someone my friend knows (and I've met once) has offered to pick me up and drive me. Wow.
So, I found an excellent rate through Midwest Airlines (I love flying with them - excellent service, delicious chocolate chip cookies, and they have a non-stop on a plane with 2-across wide leather seats). I put a 24-hr hold on my flight of choice and then went in search of a hotel. The Radisson in Crystal City was offering a spectacular rate of $80 for AAA members (an even lower rate was available, but it required a non-refundable charge on the credit card). So, if you have to travel last minute - check the luxury hotels as well. I wanted to make sure the hotel would allow an early check-in, as I was flying in the day of the service and flying out the next day after.
Well, idiot that I am - I hadn't secured my excellent flight rate within 24 hrs. But to continue on to the kindness of strangers.
I phoned the Radisson and before I even told them I had a funeral to attend and wanted to check in early to change into my suit - they said I could check in early! No questions, no hems or haws, just "no problem" - So props to Radisson in Crystal City.
Then, the dreaded part - I went on-line in hopes my hold would be there - of course it was gone and the flight price had jumped from under $200 to almost $600 and up! I was in a great deal of panic and checked other airlines while blaming myself for being an idiot. Finally, I thought - "why not" and phoned the airline.
After a lot of "pleases" and being at my most polite - Ericka from Midwest Airlines worked her butt off and retrieved my original held reservation! She confirmed my flight and the original low price! I had her transfer me to their customer relations so I could praise Ericka in the highest. Thank you Ericka and Midwest Airlines.
So, I met the kindness of strangers at its highest yesterday. I'll be able to attend Lauretta's service and stay within my strained budget.
Again, and again, thanks to the Radisson and Midwest Airlines for hiring people who actually know what customer service is like.
Of course, this wouldn't be my blog if I didn't add a little advice - what helps in these situations is to be at your polite best. Ma'am, sir, please, thank you - they're good words - use them often, no matter the situation and never, ever, sound frustrated or bossy. As someone who has worked in customer service and still does to a degree - the nicer you are, the more you get away with. ^__^
Now - onto the ugly side of this whole situation - when my friend told me her mom was fading - I contacted Norman to give him a heads up - to see if he'd give me rides to/from the airport. I was willing to fly into either BWI or DCA - whichever he'd prefer since he was doing me a favor.
He said he preferred BWI, and then said I could stay with him and "Mother." I wasn't too keen on this, but I am brokies.
And so it goes down - the offer of staying with them disappeared, then the ride offer started fading, until it finally became statements from him that my friend and her family really didn't want me there, that I'd probably be in the way, that I wasn't needed, that I shouldn't spend my limited cash on going out there, that they wouldn't have time for me. And on and on.
This is what I got from someone I've known for 20+ years - who I've dated, who I've been very close to - who I assumed was an "old friend." It's bad enough "Mother" doesn't approve of me - even after all these years. Norman lives with his "Mother" - he's unemployed - has never really held a job for long - lives in some strange dreamland in which he thinks he's God's gift - and truly thinks "denial" is just a river in Egypt. Yeah, you look at this and wonder what I ever saw in Norman - I was young and very different. Oh, and I drank. ^___^ Norman is one big example and collection of stories and warnings I may someday write about. But at least he's entertaining, in that shell-shocked way of "Good God, you're kidding!"
11 February 2007
08 February 2007
RIP "Mom"
Just a short post - to recognize and acknowledge the passing of a truly wonderful and warm person - Lauretta Chambers. She passed away yesterday. She was the mother of my closest, dearest friend.
Lauretta had struggled with the "C" and it finally took her away from us. She's with God, free of illness and pain, and no doubt bringing joy to all the angels.
She was the mom I should've had, the mom we all should've had. She was stern and supportive, outspoken and open, and full of love. Her children are all strong, ambitious people who have minds of their own. She might've been a mom in every sense of the frustrating meaning, but she was also a mom in every sense of the wonderful meaning.
She opened my mind and my world and she opened her arms. I don't doubt she'll still keep an eye on her husband and her children and grandchildren.
I don't know the right words to say, because all I know is sorrow.
Heaven's a better place now that she's with God, but here on Earth, we weep.
Lauretta had struggled with the "C" and it finally took her away from us. She's with God, free of illness and pain, and no doubt bringing joy to all the angels.
She was the mom I should've had, the mom we all should've had. She was stern and supportive, outspoken and open, and full of love. Her children are all strong, ambitious people who have minds of their own. She might've been a mom in every sense of the frustrating meaning, but she was also a mom in every sense of the wonderful meaning.
She opened my mind and my world and she opened her arms. I don't doubt she'll still keep an eye on her husband and her children and grandchildren.
I don't know the right words to say, because all I know is sorrow.
Heaven's a better place now that she's with God, but here on Earth, we weep.
08 December 2006
A Charlie Brown Birthday
I have always loved birthdays - anyone's - including famous people and fictional characters, and especially mine.
However, as we get older - they sort've lose their shine. And it depends on the people you celebrate with. Or don't celebrate with.
I just had what I consider a milestone b-day, which means, as of now, no one will regard my "special day", well, special.
Granted Maggie took me out to lunch the day before, as well as going shopping at World Market and Aki - a neat little local Japanese store. She was going to be out the day of my b-day. And she got me a Hello Kitty popcorn popper! It's adorable. And my best girlfriend "Abigail" called me on the day of - in the late morning and we did our usual dark humor conversation. Life sucks, what're ya' gonna' do, and we joked heartily about it, using our best gallows humor. I can always go to Abigail for dark humor.
Then that was it - my other local buddy called me in the evening and seemed rushed. And my former crush called me at . . . 11:30 PM! I guess I should be happy he called. Former Crush (FC) could've just blown me off altogether.
But the kick in the pants - my own parents didn't phone, neither did my oldest friend RC, nor my on-again/off-again former bf - Norman - who's a story on his own.
I've yet to hear from my parents - who did at least get me a gift from the Sharper Image - the ultimate in electronic Mouse Repellents. My first Sharper Image thing and it's a Mouse Chaser. Hm.
Anyway, I spent my b-day staring at the cable and eventually getting dinner to go from the Outback.
I expect a Charlie Brown Christmas, but now I'm getting Charlie Brown birthdays. Soon, all my holidays/special days will be spent alone, in my room of brooding, listening to the rain. ^__^
However, as we get older - they sort've lose their shine. And it depends on the people you celebrate with. Or don't celebrate with.
I just had what I consider a milestone b-day, which means, as of now, no one will regard my "special day", well, special.
Granted Maggie took me out to lunch the day before, as well as going shopping at World Market and Aki - a neat little local Japanese store. She was going to be out the day of my b-day. And she got me a Hello Kitty popcorn popper! It's adorable. And my best girlfriend "Abigail" called me on the day of - in the late morning and we did our usual dark humor conversation. Life sucks, what're ya' gonna' do, and we joked heartily about it, using our best gallows humor. I can always go to Abigail for dark humor.
Then that was it - my other local buddy called me in the evening and seemed rushed. And my former crush called me at . . . 11:30 PM! I guess I should be happy he called. Former Crush (FC) could've just blown me off altogether.
But the kick in the pants - my own parents didn't phone, neither did my oldest friend RC, nor my on-again/off-again former bf - Norman - who's a story on his own.
I've yet to hear from my parents - who did at least get me a gift from the Sharper Image - the ultimate in electronic Mouse Repellents. My first Sharper Image thing and it's a Mouse Chaser. Hm.
Anyway, I spent my b-day staring at the cable and eventually getting dinner to go from the Outback.
I expect a Charlie Brown Christmas, but now I'm getting Charlie Brown birthdays. Soon, all my holidays/special days will be spent alone, in my room of brooding, listening to the rain. ^__^
28 November 2006
Ah, Those Wild Crazy Monday Nights in Omaha, NE
This actually happened a week ago, but . . .
It was Monday - I was speaking w/ my friend "Maggie" and mentioned about still needing to take her out for her b-day.
Her b-day was in Sep, but that was when Jenova was removed and Maggie had been one of my main caretakers during my recovery period. I thought I'd take her to PF Changs - we'd neither of us been.
So, she says let's go tonight - meaning this last Monday. I make reservations, throw on a skirt and blouse and go to pick her up. We arrive at PF Changs and lo! and behold! there's a fire engine and a police car. I really didn't think it'd matter as there were cars still in the lot. We go into the atrium only to be stopped by a fireman - we weren't allowed to enter. Well, damn. Now, mind you there were no flames, and there was nothing mentioned in the news, but since it's my interesting life - things cannot go smoothly. Ever.
Quite put out, we both tried to think of where to go. I wanted to take her someplace nice, so she mentioned our favorite dessert - Creme Brulee - mmm . . . Creme Brulee. So, I think Vivaces! This is a very nice Italian restaurant in Omaha's Old Market area. It's high end, delicious, and Harrison Ford always dines there when he's in town. And their Creme Brulee is to die for. Heading from West Omaha to downtown Omaha . . . It's nice weather so there's no friggin' parking!
Where do we end up? The Outback in Bellevue. Bellevue's south of Omaha - home to Offutt AFB and MANY restaurants/fast food places.
The Outback. And our wild splurge? I got a larger steak and she got grilled shrimp. -__- Oh, the wild life of single girls in Omaha, NE!
The Outback . . . Now, I like the Outback, but my plans to take my friend for a nice, slightly expensive dinner went to hell!
Oh, and to wrap up the wild night - we went to . . . Gamestop. Yes, Gamestop. Well, there was a very cute Johnny Depp-ish looking boy who I got a crush on, but aside from that . . .
Wow - it just doesn't get any more wild than that . . .
Sheesh! I can't even take someone out for a nice evening - seriously - interesting doesn't mean fun or exciting - it just means interesting.
*siiiigh*
It was Monday - I was speaking w/ my friend "Maggie" and mentioned about still needing to take her out for her b-day.
Her b-day was in Sep, but that was when Jenova was removed and Maggie had been one of my main caretakers during my recovery period. I thought I'd take her to PF Changs - we'd neither of us been.
So, she says let's go tonight - meaning this last Monday. I make reservations, throw on a skirt and blouse and go to pick her up. We arrive at PF Changs and lo! and behold! there's a fire engine and a police car. I really didn't think it'd matter as there were cars still in the lot. We go into the atrium only to be stopped by a fireman - we weren't allowed to enter. Well, damn. Now, mind you there were no flames, and there was nothing mentioned in the news, but since it's my interesting life - things cannot go smoothly. Ever.
Quite put out, we both tried to think of where to go. I wanted to take her someplace nice, so she mentioned our favorite dessert - Creme Brulee - mmm . . . Creme Brulee. So, I think Vivaces! This is a very nice Italian restaurant in Omaha's Old Market area. It's high end, delicious, and Harrison Ford always dines there when he's in town. And their Creme Brulee is to die for. Heading from West Omaha to downtown Omaha . . . It's nice weather so there's no friggin' parking!
Where do we end up? The Outback in Bellevue. Bellevue's south of Omaha - home to Offutt AFB and MANY restaurants/fast food places.
The Outback. And our wild splurge? I got a larger steak and she got grilled shrimp. -__- Oh, the wild life of single girls in Omaha, NE!
The Outback . . . Now, I like the Outback, but my plans to take my friend for a nice, slightly expensive dinner went to hell!
Oh, and to wrap up the wild night - we went to . . . Gamestop. Yes, Gamestop. Well, there was a very cute Johnny Depp-ish looking boy who I got a crush on, but aside from that . . .
Wow - it just doesn't get any more wild than that . . .
Sheesh! I can't even take someone out for a nice evening - seriously - interesting doesn't mean fun or exciting - it just means interesting.
*siiiigh*
19 November 2006
Hang onto your Felix Friends
Felix - from "The Odd Couple" by Neil Simon.
They are the ones who point out your mistakes, the dust rhinos, and help you keep your life in order. They "tsk" at your organizational style. Hey you understand it, right? Of course, underwear belongs in a bag with your collection of 20-yr-old "Bloom County" books.
ALL of my friends are neat. And neat. I am like Oscar and they are all Felix. Which means I'm pretty bad off if all of 'em are finicky - that I must surround myself with that many Felix types. Even my ex-husband was a Felix.
Be afraid - of my lifestyle. Not them. For every Oscar, there's a Felix, or ten.
So, Oscars? Let the Felixes neaten up and tell you how to be neat. You can ignore 'em or think "cool, it does look great" and "wow, so that's where my book/paper/underwear was."
Felixes? Let the Oscars tease you - you know they're just jealous. I have to say that - I value my Felix friends too much.
They are the ones who point out your mistakes, the dust rhinos, and help you keep your life in order. They "tsk" at your organizational style. Hey you understand it, right? Of course, underwear belongs in a bag with your collection of 20-yr-old "Bloom County" books.
ALL of my friends are neat. And neat. I am like Oscar and they are all Felix. Which means I'm pretty bad off if all of 'em are finicky - that I must surround myself with that many Felix types. Even my ex-husband was a Felix.
Be afraid - of my lifestyle. Not them. For every Oscar, there's a Felix, or ten.
So, Oscars? Let the Felixes neaten up and tell you how to be neat. You can ignore 'em or think "cool, it does look great" and "wow, so that's where my book/paper/underwear was."
Felixes? Let the Oscars tease you - you know they're just jealous. I have to say that - I value my Felix friends too much.
If Timmy jumped off a bridge . . .
This is always on my mind and sometimes comes to the forefront - the fact that so many people would be followers rather than taking the risk of standing away on their own. "If Timmy jumped off a bridge, would you?" Well, for most people, the answer is probably "yes." It's easier to go with the flow, than risk censure or ridicule. As the line goes in the movie "1776" sung to John Adams - "you're obnoxious and disliked, that cannot be denied." Well, if it weren't for that rabble rouser - maybe we wouldn't be independent.
And then that made me think of the poem that's often attributed to Herr Martin Niemoller:
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist; Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me."
If we actually spoke out more, maybe there'd be less bullying, less apathy (obviously), more choice, more acceptance, more interaction. Try it - speak your mind and see how uncomfortable people are - they don't want to challenge you - they're afraid of conflict. So, in the end they either leave you or they put up with it, or they, in fact, develop their own sense of self. I don't encourage hate-speak - that's just cruel and useless. But, then, say someone does promote their beliefs and they're mean? Do you speak out, look nervous or ignore them? Speak out! Say you disagree with them - it's OKAY to disagree - to have your own viewpoint.
I often joke that I have no white, heterosexual friends - it's not true - but it's a point of pride with me. I may never understand the views or lives of my friends, but I want to and I want to believe in them, even if I can't agree - they're valuable - my friends and their beliefs. Because, I would hope they'd accept me and my views. I want to speak out for them, so they'll speak out for me. Often, I will, much to their chagrin.
If we expect everyone to fall into set parameters - how dull a life must we have? Are we so afraid to hear different viewpoints? Fear is controlling and that's how the evil wins. That's where the pain comes from.
Example/lesson - I had friends who I loved fiercely - my friends are my family - I trust them implicitly because I expect they love me just as much. I reached out to them, made myself available, supported them, encouraged them - you get the picture - I acted like a friend. However, I went outside their accepted parameters by showing my dark side and they cut me off. Pain? Yes. After so many years - my heart still aches for them. I tried to see their point of view. NOTE - always try to see others' points of view - it opens your mind. Even not fully understanding - I knew they were angry so I apologized - and was not forgiven. One friend even turned me away as I tried to apologize. The pain took my breath away and made me doubt my worth, my life, everything. To add insult to injury, as it were, when one of my friends told me they no longer wished to see me - they also had to let me know that I was a terrible person. See? Cruelty? Is it needed? Never.
When someone apologizes - forgive them. You may not forget - ever, but forgive. God forgives - why can't we? Seriously, why can't we? Would that we could forget. But I wonder with the not-forgetting - we hold it to punish ourselves more so than the person? A sort've self-flagellation?
In the end - after many years of angst and brooding (how immature) - I had/have to realize that perhaps these people were never my friends. I was their's - I loved them, faults and all. But they never understood that. Funny, how people never realize that they are not perfect and that they may have angered/hurt you deeply. So, realize this before you say something. We are, none of us, perfect. And we all have our dark moments. We all have faces that we hope others never see. It scares us, so it should scare others. But we should admit that we are no angels, so why expect others to be perfect?
I strongly believe that every person one meets - there's a reason - a lesson to learn. Or they're to learn something. Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don't. Maybe I knew these people to realize that acceptance and love aren't a way of life with others. To kill some of my "rose-tinted glasses" way of seeing things. Maybe it's to show me that maybe I can't be myself all the time - that sometimes I have to curb myself. We have to wear masks, even when we hate it. It did, though, create a stronger bond with another friend - who, being my newest friend at that time, forgave me! He forgave me - and we've never looked back. And, trust me, he has quite a temper. ^_^
Friendships/relationships are valuable - even with being honest - you still have to think. The friends I have - most I've known for 20+ years - so I must be doing something right. And, here's something we should do - think before we speak - it's difficult. Especially for me. But, if a friend pisses me off - I (most of of the time - not always) bite my tongue. And give it a night or a day or two to work its way through my brain. Is it worth hurting someone over something trivial/momentary? If it is - then speak up. If it isn't - let it go. Let. It. Go. In the end - that person's more valuable than your ego and your feelings. Note, I said trivial/momentary - not injust or cruel or bigoted.
Oh, and never ever tell someone "you should know how I feel" - that's "so high school" as it were. Unless we grew up from day one and were inseparable - then, no, I don't know how you feel/think. I'm not a mind-reader. And if I were - well, this blog wouldn't exist.
So, speak up for injustice. Speak up for your friends and loved ones. Speak up. Don't let bullies win. For God's sake - don't give in. Don't yield. Don't always take the easy way. Painful? Lonely? Yes. But do you want to live or exist? Do you want to face God and have Him show you the movie of your life and all you see are the many, many times you did nothing? Sometimes, the road less traveled is much more interesting.
And then that made me think of the poem that's often attributed to Herr Martin Niemoller:
"First they came for the communists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a communist; Then they came for the socialists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a socialist; Then they came for the trade unionists, and I did not speak out - because I was not a trade unionist; Then they came for the Jews, and I did not speak out - because I was not a Jew; Then they came for me - and there was no one left to speak out for me."
If we actually spoke out more, maybe there'd be less bullying, less apathy (obviously), more choice, more acceptance, more interaction. Try it - speak your mind and see how uncomfortable people are - they don't want to challenge you - they're afraid of conflict. So, in the end they either leave you or they put up with it, or they, in fact, develop their own sense of self. I don't encourage hate-speak - that's just cruel and useless. But, then, say someone does promote their beliefs and they're mean? Do you speak out, look nervous or ignore them? Speak out! Say you disagree with them - it's OKAY to disagree - to have your own viewpoint.
I often joke that I have no white, heterosexual friends - it's not true - but it's a point of pride with me. I may never understand the views or lives of my friends, but I want to and I want to believe in them, even if I can't agree - they're valuable - my friends and their beliefs. Because, I would hope they'd accept me and my views. I want to speak out for them, so they'll speak out for me. Often, I will, much to their chagrin.
If we expect everyone to fall into set parameters - how dull a life must we have? Are we so afraid to hear different viewpoints? Fear is controlling and that's how the evil wins. That's where the pain comes from.
Example/lesson - I had friends who I loved fiercely - my friends are my family - I trust them implicitly because I expect they love me just as much. I reached out to them, made myself available, supported them, encouraged them - you get the picture - I acted like a friend. However, I went outside their accepted parameters by showing my dark side and they cut me off. Pain? Yes. After so many years - my heart still aches for them. I tried to see their point of view. NOTE - always try to see others' points of view - it opens your mind. Even not fully understanding - I knew they were angry so I apologized - and was not forgiven. One friend even turned me away as I tried to apologize. The pain took my breath away and made me doubt my worth, my life, everything. To add insult to injury, as it were, when one of my friends told me they no longer wished to see me - they also had to let me know that I was a terrible person. See? Cruelty? Is it needed? Never.
When someone apologizes - forgive them. You may not forget - ever, but forgive. God forgives - why can't we? Seriously, why can't we? Would that we could forget. But I wonder with the not-forgetting - we hold it to punish ourselves more so than the person? A sort've self-flagellation?
In the end - after many years of angst and brooding (how immature) - I had/have to realize that perhaps these people were never my friends. I was their's - I loved them, faults and all. But they never understood that. Funny, how people never realize that they are not perfect and that they may have angered/hurt you deeply. So, realize this before you say something. We are, none of us, perfect. And we all have our dark moments. We all have faces that we hope others never see. It scares us, so it should scare others. But we should admit that we are no angels, so why expect others to be perfect?
I strongly believe that every person one meets - there's a reason - a lesson to learn. Or they're to learn something. Sometimes you get it, sometimes you don't. Maybe I knew these people to realize that acceptance and love aren't a way of life with others. To kill some of my "rose-tinted glasses" way of seeing things. Maybe it's to show me that maybe I can't be myself all the time - that sometimes I have to curb myself. We have to wear masks, even when we hate it. It did, though, create a stronger bond with another friend - who, being my newest friend at that time, forgave me! He forgave me - and we've never looked back. And, trust me, he has quite a temper. ^_^
Friendships/relationships are valuable - even with being honest - you still have to think. The friends I have - most I've known for 20+ years - so I must be doing something right. And, here's something we should do - think before we speak - it's difficult. Especially for me. But, if a friend pisses me off - I (most of of the time - not always) bite my tongue. And give it a night or a day or two to work its way through my brain. Is it worth hurting someone over something trivial/momentary? If it is - then speak up. If it isn't - let it go. Let. It. Go. In the end - that person's more valuable than your ego and your feelings. Note, I said trivial/momentary - not injust or cruel or bigoted.
Oh, and never ever tell someone "you should know how I feel" - that's "so high school" as it were. Unless we grew up from day one and were inseparable - then, no, I don't know how you feel/think. I'm not a mind-reader. And if I were - well, this blog wouldn't exist.
So, speak up for injustice. Speak up for your friends and loved ones. Speak up. Don't let bullies win. For God's sake - don't give in. Don't yield. Don't always take the easy way. Painful? Lonely? Yes. But do you want to live or exist? Do you want to face God and have Him show you the movie of your life and all you see are the many, many times you did nothing? Sometimes, the road less traveled is much more interesting.
16 November 2006
Mouse Tips
Things I've heard about repelling/trapping feral mice - not all proven, but I've received many tips
1 - mint is a natural repellent - grow it around your property, sprinkle it about inside
2 - hedge apples are supposedly a natural repellent (being an Easterner - I was like, "what the bloody hell are those?" I now know.
3 - place a length of string to, thru, and past a trap - mice use it for bedding, chew it, follow it along and bam!
4 - mice like gum drops, peanut butter, peanuts and peanut butter "Mary Jane" candies.
5 - The mice in my apartment do not like peanut butter.
6 - stuff steel wool into mouse holes - they won't chew thru it
7 - mice can become accustomed to loud noise, so constantly bellowing "No Mouse!" will work for only a little while.
8 - "They're more afraid of you than you are of them" - No. No they're not.
1 - mint is a natural repellent - grow it around your property, sprinkle it about inside
2 - hedge apples are supposedly a natural repellent (being an Easterner - I was like, "what the bloody hell are those?" I now know.
3 - place a length of string to, thru, and past a trap - mice use it for bedding, chew it, follow it along and bam!
4 - mice like gum drops, peanut butter, peanuts and peanut butter "Mary Jane" candies.
5 - The mice in my apartment do not like peanut butter.
6 - stuff steel wool into mouse holes - they won't chew thru it
7 - mice can become accustomed to loud noise, so constantly bellowing "No Mouse!" will work for only a little while.
8 - "They're more afraid of you than you are of them" - No. No they're not.
Assumption Junction & Justification City
With apologies to "Grammar Rock" - Assumption Junction - What's your function? Making up rules and justifications.
One - Never assume someone's well just because they look well and sound well. After my "major surgery" (this is the term used by my surgeons whenever I mention something's bothering me - "Remember, you've just had 'major surgery.' ") - I'm still having bad headaches, various aches and other problems. Unfortunately, since I don't have a major incision for all the world to see - all the world assumes I'm fine and dandy, dandy and fine. Wrong assumption. Move along. I'll have to write about this - me and my tumor who I nerdishly named Jenova.
Two - Here's a lesson - When someone tells you they value honesty above all things - laugh loudly and lie. Because, if you haven't learned this yet - it's BULL you-know-what! Never assume anyone ever wants to hear the truth. Now, being honest is a good thing. I encourage it - people hate the truth so learn to say it nicely. Never point out that the Emperor is naked, but say, "Oh, sir, by the way, have you considered another outfit? That one's so . . . daring."
Three - And when you meet a woman who prides herself on being a bitch - and thinks it's cool if you're also one - laugh even louder and never assume she means it.
Four - If you ever tell someone, to their face, "I'm going to be grumpy," "I am grumpy," "Please understand, I'm not in a good mood," "I'm in an anti-social mood right now" and they nod and say "I understand" - put it in writing and have them sign it! So, when, later they accuse you of SUDDENLY being a terrible person, show them the proof they claimed they would understand! Never, ever, never assume they actually HEARD you!
Five - When Cat (why I capitalized it, I don't know, but cats are cool) people tell you "You can judge a person by how a cat treats them" and they go off and off about how cats are great judges of character and then their cat loves you, but the person hates you, assume they'll find a way to make you the bad person. "My cat may have rubbed all over them, and purred and loved to be held by them, and ran to be by their side, but in truth, my cat was really afraid." Welcome to Justification City! We all have lived there and we still visit from time to time.
Now, I'll put in one caveat - people from the East coast - *raising hand* - and certain astrological types - *raises other hand because I'm a Sagittarius* - are blunt, honest, and well, not the most likeable. But, I look at it this way (and this is how I'll justify it) - if I'm painfully honest with you, it means I like you, respect you, and think you're absolutely cool. And you're strong enough to take it (and still like me). Or I wouldn't be painfully honest. So you have to assume I have the highest respect for you and justify it by muttering "Damn Yankee" behind my back.
Or, it's because I'm a lousy liar and found out, early in life, honesty is just easier than trying to remember all the lies I've made up.
Oh - 'nother lesson - caught in a lie? Just 'fess up, look like a dork, ask forgiveness and move along.
One - Never assume someone's well just because they look well and sound well. After my "major surgery" (this is the term used by my surgeons whenever I mention something's bothering me - "Remember, you've just had 'major surgery.' ") - I'm still having bad headaches, various aches and other problems. Unfortunately, since I don't have a major incision for all the world to see - all the world assumes I'm fine and dandy, dandy and fine. Wrong assumption. Move along. I'll have to write about this - me and my tumor who I nerdishly named Jenova.
Two - Here's a lesson - When someone tells you they value honesty above all things - laugh loudly and lie. Because, if you haven't learned this yet - it's BULL you-know-what! Never assume anyone ever wants to hear the truth. Now, being honest is a good thing. I encourage it - people hate the truth so learn to say it nicely. Never point out that the Emperor is naked, but say, "Oh, sir, by the way, have you considered another outfit? That one's so . . . daring."
Three - And when you meet a woman who prides herself on being a bitch - and thinks it's cool if you're also one - laugh even louder and never assume she means it.
Four - If you ever tell someone, to their face, "I'm going to be grumpy," "I am grumpy," "Please understand, I'm not in a good mood," "I'm in an anti-social mood right now" and they nod and say "I understand" - put it in writing and have them sign it! So, when, later they accuse you of SUDDENLY being a terrible person, show them the proof they claimed they would understand! Never, ever, never assume they actually HEARD you!
Five - When Cat (why I capitalized it, I don't know, but cats are cool) people tell you "You can judge a person by how a cat treats them" and they go off and off about how cats are great judges of character and then their cat loves you, but the person hates you, assume they'll find a way to make you the bad person. "My cat may have rubbed all over them, and purred and loved to be held by them, and ran to be by their side, but in truth, my cat was really afraid." Welcome to Justification City! We all have lived there and we still visit from time to time.
Now, I'll put in one caveat - people from the East coast - *raising hand* - and certain astrological types - *raises other hand because I'm a Sagittarius* - are blunt, honest, and well, not the most likeable. But, I look at it this way (and this is how I'll justify it) - if I'm painfully honest with you, it means I like you, respect you, and think you're absolutely cool. And you're strong enough to take it (and still like me). Or I wouldn't be painfully honest. So you have to assume I have the highest respect for you and justify it by muttering "Damn Yankee" behind my back.
Or, it's because I'm a lousy liar and found out, early in life, honesty is just easier than trying to remember all the lies I've made up.
Oh - 'nother lesson - caught in a lie? Just 'fess up, look like a dork, ask forgiveness and move along.
10 November 2006
Tiberius Randomus I
As a result of the "night of uncoolness," I've also decided to post random facts/information on Tiberius Caesar.
Tiberius followed Augustus and preceded Gaius "Caligula." Ti is my all-time favorite Caesar - I voluntarily studied him, wrote a paper on him and finished a novel set during his reign. sigh
Where to start - Tiberius was a Scorpio - making him sexy and demanding. That's okay. His father backed the wrong horse - he supported Marc Antony rather than Augustus - bad career move. So, Ti's mom, Livia went after Augustus and used her evil wiles and so divorced her husband and married Augustus. Ti had a younger brother, Drusus, who seemed to be an all-around nice guy. Ti loved his first wife fiercely and detested his second wife just as fiercely.
Even though the movie Caligula is horrendous, painful and wrong - I "like" it because my favorite actor, Peter O'Toole, played Tiberius. Granted, Peter was supposedly wasted during the making of the movie and it's because of that movie, Peter straightened his life out. Ah, Peter . . . still sexy after all these years. So, do not see Caligula, but imagine a vibrant, powerful, beautiful Peter O'Toole in a tunic and toga. Granted you won't see him in that movie, but still, he is what I envision (the sober, noble Peter) as Ti. George Baker played Ti in I, Claudius - the series was powerful and excellent; George prolly played Ti more accurately, but dammit, he wasn't sexy like . . . Peter.
If you ever get the chance - see Peter in Masada - he's sexy, broody, fantastic!
So, back to Tiberius - whatever negative you've read - disbelieve it all! ^__^ He was a Man Misunderstood.
Tiberius followed Augustus and preceded Gaius "Caligula." Ti is my all-time favorite Caesar - I voluntarily studied him, wrote a paper on him and finished a novel set during his reign. sigh
Where to start - Tiberius was a Scorpio - making him sexy and demanding. That's okay. His father backed the wrong horse - he supported Marc Antony rather than Augustus - bad career move. So, Ti's mom, Livia went after Augustus and used her evil wiles and so divorced her husband and married Augustus. Ti had a younger brother, Drusus, who seemed to be an all-around nice guy. Ti loved his first wife fiercely and detested his second wife just as fiercely.
Even though the movie Caligula is horrendous, painful and wrong - I "like" it because my favorite actor, Peter O'Toole, played Tiberius. Granted, Peter was supposedly wasted during the making of the movie and it's because of that movie, Peter straightened his life out. Ah, Peter . . . still sexy after all these years. So, do not see Caligula, but imagine a vibrant, powerful, beautiful Peter O'Toole in a tunic and toga. Granted you won't see him in that movie, but still, he is what I envision (the sober, noble Peter) as Ti. George Baker played Ti in I, Claudius - the series was powerful and excellent; George prolly played Ti more accurately, but dammit, he wasn't sexy like . . . Peter.
If you ever get the chance - see Peter in Masada - he's sexy, broody, fantastic!
So, back to Tiberius - whatever negative you've read - disbelieve it all! ^__^ He was a Man Misunderstood.
ha-ha - side note - I misspelled "toga" as "touga" - luckily my friend caught it. But, the funny part of it is - I love the anime Shoujo Kakumei Utena and there are three male characters I lust for (just ignore, for a moment, please, that they're animated) and my favorite is named Touga! So, even when I'm not writing about the anime, I still have Touga on my mind. Okay, so it's a loser-y thing, but it's still funny. To me. At least.
Ah, those wild crazy Friday nights in Omaha, NE
There are varying shades of "cool" in this world. Tonight, I experienced but little of it. First, I'm in Nebraska! It doesn't get any non-cooler than that. Second, well . . . I'm not sure anything tops that.
It's Friday and my friend and I go to our usual writer's group meeting. That's rather cool, in a sense - the whole artsy, "oooh, we're writers" thing. And we do have a great, albeit small, group. And the members are cool and some of them are published which, to me, the aspiring author, is cool. Okay, that done, my friend and I, with our handy 20% off coupons for that store, go in search of books - that's cool - reading is always cool. She finds her newest Japanese manga - in certain circles that's got a coolness factor. I find the newest Katie Macalister book - "Light My Fire" - and that's cool. Cool in the sense that it's "cool-I'm happy I found it," cool like "cool, her new book's out!" and cool like "it's all good."
By the way - if you like your romance with tons of humor and sexy vampires - read Katie Macalister's books. She also writes some non-vampire romance comedies and a paranormal romance comedy in which a woman is bonded to a dragon, who's also a sexy, sexy man.
Okay, that done - we make our purchases and, in true cool fashion, I eschew a plastic bag.
Now, it begins, the lack of coolness. We head off to my friend's place to watch "something."
On the way home, I have a CD mix of anime/game music - that can be cool. But first up is "The Hamster Dance" - okay, it's silly cool.
Then, it begins - we sing along to Romanian disco music! Well, I can at least say I knew less of the words than my friend. But, here we are - Friday night, in the city, singing "Mi ya hee, mi ya hu, mi ya ho, mi ya ha ha" - and continuing along with the whole of the song, "Dragostea Din Tei" by O-Zone. Well, it doesn't get much non-cooler than that.
Until, we're in her place and we slip off our shoes, to discover we are both wearing the same "American Pride" sport socks we bought on clearance at ShopKo!
And to cap the evening, she showed me the movie "Napoleon Dynamite."
So, singing along, quite well on her part, and somewhat on mine (like it's any better), wearing our clearance socks and watching a movie about losers . . .
On a Friday night in Omaha, Nebraska. Yeah, doncha' wanna' share in that wildness?
It's Friday and my friend and I go to our usual writer's group meeting. That's rather cool, in a sense - the whole artsy, "oooh, we're writers" thing. And we do have a great, albeit small, group. And the members are cool and some of them are published which, to me, the aspiring author, is cool. Okay, that done, my friend and I, with our handy 20% off coupons for that store, go in search of books - that's cool - reading is always cool. She finds her newest Japanese manga - in certain circles that's got a coolness factor. I find the newest Katie Macalister book - "Light My Fire" - and that's cool. Cool in the sense that it's "cool-I'm happy I found it," cool like "cool, her new book's out!" and cool like "it's all good."
By the way - if you like your romance with tons of humor and sexy vampires - read Katie Macalister's books. She also writes some non-vampire romance comedies and a paranormal romance comedy in which a woman is bonded to a dragon, who's also a sexy, sexy man.
Okay, that done - we make our purchases and, in true cool fashion, I eschew a plastic bag.
Now, it begins, the lack of coolness. We head off to my friend's place to watch "something."
On the way home, I have a CD mix of anime/game music - that can be cool. But first up is "The Hamster Dance" - okay, it's silly cool.
Then, it begins - we sing along to Romanian disco music! Well, I can at least say I knew less of the words than my friend. But, here we are - Friday night, in the city, singing "Mi ya hee, mi ya hu, mi ya ho, mi ya ha ha" - and continuing along with the whole of the song, "Dragostea Din Tei" by O-Zone. Well, it doesn't get much non-cooler than that.
Until, we're in her place and we slip off our shoes, to discover we are both wearing the same "American Pride" sport socks we bought on clearance at ShopKo!
And to cap the evening, she showed me the movie "Napoleon Dynamite."
So, singing along, quite well on her part, and somewhat on mine (like it's any better), wearing our clearance socks and watching a movie about losers . . .
On a Friday night in Omaha, Nebraska. Yeah, doncha' wanna' share in that wildness?
Judgement Girl Strikes Again!
Ok, we are all judgemental . . . But, being from the East Coast and getting older, and spending too much of my early life with all my gay boyfriends, I'm pretty bad . . .
I had a blind date last night. Before I go on - Life Lesson to everyone, but especially females - I've always done this and I highly recommend it, if you don't - get as much information as you can on the person you'll be seeing and write it down or e-mail it to your best friend for safe keeping in case your body turns up on the side of the road. Yes, it's dramatic, but it's also practical. And, if at all possible, meet at the place/take separate vehicles and go somewhere like a restaurant/populated place.
Okay, so I had a blind date - met him on online - seemed nice, but seriously cannot spell. Which, I admit, as an English Lit. girl, is a problem.
Another side note - when I was in high school - I dated this cute, good ol' boy - J.R. - who was incredibly illiterate. This poor, sweet boy - I used to give him a spelling list each week with new words! And I used to circle his letters and notes in red ink! Yeah, I was exactly the word you're thinking. And he put up with it! He was really sweet - so some day, if ever I see him, I'll offer him my apologies.
Back to last night - Blind Date Guy showed up with a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers (not from a grocery story and they smelled incredible). He also smelled quite nice. Appearance wise - eh - not my type, but then I'm no great shakes, so who am I to . . . judge? ^_^ He made lots of brownie points tho'. He opened his car door for me to get in and get out and opened the restaurant door. Very well done. We went to this Mexican place that was okay. I like Tex-mex and I'd never been to this particular place, so I didn't mind.
Side note - some of the worst eateries for first dates - BBQ, Mexican, Thai, Indian or Sushi (unless you are absolutely sure your date loves/can handle it). But, any place where you're prolly going to use your hands/get food in your teeth - not on a first date - kills the coolness factor. Oh, and any place where you're bound to get gas. Unless you really want to not date the person again.
Back to date - non-stop convo - I admit he was charming in that good ol' boy way J.R. was from high school - he also had beautiful blue eyes (J.R and this guy). And he had hair. I'm a girl who likes guys with hair on their heads. So, plusses all around. He talked about himself while I ate my enchilada and rice. Okay, he didn't ask about me, but I figured he was probably nervous (I was). And he wasn't arrogant, just sweet and sort've funny. I can babble on when I'm nervous, so no judgement.
In his car, he popped in a Carpenter's CD (I love the Carpenters) and we drove to this dark park to hang. It was bitterly cold, but I loved it - fresh air, stars to see forever in the night sky. He also grabbed a jacket from his car and put it around my shoulders (the boy had it going for being a gentleman). Finally, even the cold got to me, so we sat in his car and chatted. My friend who I had given her the heads up on with regards to this date phoned to follow up. I love her for it, because I was supposed to phone earlier with more information, but there was no cool way to do it. So, I love her for following up.
Side note - hang on to your friends - you never know when you'll need them. I've lost friends for the stupidest reasons - something I'll write about. Friends are a treasure and one should never throw them away because of a bad day or one disagreement. But then if someone does, they really weren't your friend in the truest sense.
So - we chatted about all kinds of things. The only thing I wasn't crazy about - he kept complimenting me. Not to judge, but I'm leery of folks who compliment on a first meet. When you get to know me - by all means, tell me how wonderful I am. ^__^ But, strangers who compliment? Eh. Well, okay, when I did theater, I lived off strangers' compliments, but I wasn't performing last night. Maybe a little - after all I was trying to make a good impression. I didn't want to be judged. So, early date - he was going out of town to see family, he claimed, but he saw me to my door and gave me a quick kiss. And then e-mailed me as a follow up. So all in all, it was a nicer evening than I was expecting, based on my judgement.
I had a blind date last night. Before I go on - Life Lesson to everyone, but especially females - I've always done this and I highly recommend it, if you don't - get as much information as you can on the person you'll be seeing and write it down or e-mail it to your best friend for safe keeping in case your body turns up on the side of the road. Yes, it's dramatic, but it's also practical. And, if at all possible, meet at the place/take separate vehicles and go somewhere like a restaurant/populated place.
Okay, so I had a blind date - met him on online - seemed nice, but seriously cannot spell. Which, I admit, as an English Lit. girl, is a problem.
Another side note - when I was in high school - I dated this cute, good ol' boy - J.R. - who was incredibly illiterate. This poor, sweet boy - I used to give him a spelling list each week with new words! And I used to circle his letters and notes in red ink! Yeah, I was exactly the word you're thinking. And he put up with it! He was really sweet - so some day, if ever I see him, I'll offer him my apologies.
Back to last night - Blind Date Guy showed up with a beautiful bouquet of mixed flowers (not from a grocery story and they smelled incredible). He also smelled quite nice. Appearance wise - eh - not my type, but then I'm no great shakes, so who am I to . . . judge? ^_^ He made lots of brownie points tho'. He opened his car door for me to get in and get out and opened the restaurant door. Very well done. We went to this Mexican place that was okay. I like Tex-mex and I'd never been to this particular place, so I didn't mind.
Side note - some of the worst eateries for first dates - BBQ, Mexican, Thai, Indian or Sushi (unless you are absolutely sure your date loves/can handle it). But, any place where you're prolly going to use your hands/get food in your teeth - not on a first date - kills the coolness factor. Oh, and any place where you're bound to get gas. Unless you really want to not date the person again.
Back to date - non-stop convo - I admit he was charming in that good ol' boy way J.R. was from high school - he also had beautiful blue eyes (J.R and this guy). And he had hair. I'm a girl who likes guys with hair on their heads. So, plusses all around. He talked about himself while I ate my enchilada and rice. Okay, he didn't ask about me, but I figured he was probably nervous (I was). And he wasn't arrogant, just sweet and sort've funny. I can babble on when I'm nervous, so no judgement.
In his car, he popped in a Carpenter's CD (I love the Carpenters) and we drove to this dark park to hang. It was bitterly cold, but I loved it - fresh air, stars to see forever in the night sky. He also grabbed a jacket from his car and put it around my shoulders (the boy had it going for being a gentleman). Finally, even the cold got to me, so we sat in his car and chatted. My friend who I had given her the heads up on with regards to this date phoned to follow up. I love her for it, because I was supposed to phone earlier with more information, but there was no cool way to do it. So, I love her for following up.
Side note - hang on to your friends - you never know when you'll need them. I've lost friends for the stupidest reasons - something I'll write about. Friends are a treasure and one should never throw them away because of a bad day or one disagreement. But then if someone does, they really weren't your friend in the truest sense.
So - we chatted about all kinds of things. The only thing I wasn't crazy about - he kept complimenting me. Not to judge, but I'm leery of folks who compliment on a first meet. When you get to know me - by all means, tell me how wonderful I am. ^__^ But, strangers who compliment? Eh. Well, okay, when I did theater, I lived off strangers' compliments, but I wasn't performing last night. Maybe a little - after all I was trying to make a good impression. I didn't want to be judged. So, early date - he was going out of town to see family, he claimed, but he saw me to my door and gave me a quick kiss. And then e-mailed me as a follow up. So all in all, it was a nicer evening than I was expecting, based on my judgement.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
